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Sunderblogger.161 Life Lesson #1 – Let it go. Anger is never just anger. Anger is a cover up for fear, hurt, or disappointment. I can’t tell you the number of days I stressed myself out in my 20’s because I was angry at another person and did not want to forgive them. I literally made myself sick over it. The ironic thing about anger is that the joke is on the angry person. When you're angry, it hurts you more because you have to spend your precious time and energy holding on to negative energy. Sadly, that negative energy often blocks the positive energy from coming into your life. So let it go so that you can let that positive light in. Appreciate the person that you're angry with and learn to live with them the way they are. If someone is constantly upsetting you, appreciate the fact that you are strong enough to disassociate yourself from them. You don't need to stick around! Life Lesson #2 – It’s really not about you. When loved ones, co-workers, or even strangers say and do hurtful things, many times it is really not about you. People in this world have some serious issues. And, because they don’t deal with their issues, they project those issues onto you. The mother who thinks she is the worst mom will project and tell another mom how bad their kid is. The teen who thinks she is ugly will project and make fun of another teen. The boss who can’t manage his team will try to micromanage your work. So the next time someone does something hurtful to you, remember two things, they act like that towards other people as well, and it’s not about you!! Life Lesson #3 – Others have gone through the same problems that you have today. This is one I am still working on because I am a pretty private person. But I have to believe that when you go through things, one of the main reasons is to help others at one point and time through the same obstacle. The problem is that everyone wants to put on the mask that their life is grand, secretly hiding away any perfections. If no one knows your true journey, they can’t seek you out for help. It’s not an easy thing to do; it’s not like your Uncle Joe shouts out to everyone ‘Hey Everyone, I’m in foreclosure, now let’s eat.’ BUT, if he did, he would attract others that have been through the same experience, and could change a life for the better. Life Lesson #4 – Enjoy it now. As I look back at my last 29 years of life, there were so many special moments that came and went. I wish I would have sat back and enjoyed the moments more. Absorb the good times because they are the first things you forget. Life Lesson #5 – Power of Persistence There is something about the power of daily focused effort that seems to be a common theme in successful people. It’s the difference between ball players and NBA players, the difference between a Life Lesson #6 – I get it now when people talk about having passion as a requirement for excellence. If you want to excel as a fashion designer, working towards that goal should generally win over other distractions. When presented with the opportunity to watch TV or hang out with friends instead of working to, if you constantly choose those distractions over working on fashion, you must consider that fashion is not your passion. I am not saying that you can't relax, but I'm saying that before you choose a life goal or a 'passion', be sure it's something that you, in your heart, really enjoy and love doing. Life Lesson #7 – Relationships can be your greatest teacher. I feel that everyone should do a lessons learned exercise after each relationship AND after every couple of years in a marriage. Each relationship is a reflection of you (whether good or bad). Subconsciously it’s a reflection of our deepest insecurities and needs. And if you really take the time to reflect the good or bad times, it is a window into your soul. Taking the time to review your past will be time well spent. Life Lesson #8– Don’t sleep on the power of the internet there are thousands upon thousands of people making a good amount of money online. The BEST thing about online business is that is has no face. So you can no longer say you’re being judged by your race, background, lack of a degree, etc. The internet levels the playing field. Quality content speaks louder than your religion, skin color, etc. Start looking into the power of it today. Life Lesson #9 – Don’t be a “put off’ person. I spent many years putting off things because I was waiting for the situation to get better or for 'something' to happen first. News Flash – I bet you can think of a hundred reasons to keep living how you are today and not changing; SOMETHING will always be in the way or be a reason to delay. Don’t put off your happiness. If you can do something that makes you happy today, without ruining the lives of others then do it. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.160 TOI editor has well said about BJP that “it has diluted its anti-corruption stance by admitting tainted leaders. Realizing the pitfalls some among the BJP`s central leadership including Advani, Sushma Swaraj and Arun Jailtley, have tried to distance themselves from the UP state leadership. But passing the buck is pointless. Only practicing for itself what it preaches to others can help. It`s a young, 21st century electorate out there-intelligent enough to see through cynical manipulations by the political class. It won`t help at all to be seen as a chip off the old block”. Best Wishes Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.159 One of the favorite sports of India`s middle classes is bureaucracy bashing. It is an easy game to play and can be quite a lot of fun. Everyone has their favorite, outrageous story about an encounter with the bureaucracy. The inefficiency, corruption, insensitivity, stupidity and Kafkaesque circularity of bureaucratic procedures and rules are legendary. That India`s bureaucracy is one the most stifling and difficult to deal with has now been revealed in a survey. Over a thousand expatriate business executive rated India`s bureaucracy the most annoying in Asia. The problem with India is no, as we in the middle class imagine, that we have too many idle and corrupt bureaucrats. The problem is that we have too many rules and regulations and too few officials to implement and monitor the regimes, and bring to book those who flout the rules and regulations. As India`s population grows, the disequilibrium is only going to grow: more rules and regulations to be applied to more and more people by a bureaucracy that is not high enough. A conclusion: either we expand the bureaucracy or else the government will gradually wither away to the point that India will join the ranks of failed states. That would be a calamity for the Indian people. Best wishes! Sunder Thadani.

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Sunderblogger.158 everything is created by your mind, by yourself. What exists in your mind is what you created around you. If there is fear in your mind, there will be fear everywhere around you. If there are enemies in your mind, there will be enemies everywhere around you. It`s all in your mind. When we are born, our teacher is born with us. The teacher means my learning nature. The human body is a seed, and inside it the Divine is implanted. If life is in the hands of good forces, they will make your heart bigger, your mind bigger, everything will get enlarged metaphorically… your consciousness, thinking, feeling, emotions. Vastness will come. If you are in the hands of forces that are reducing your life, like jealousy, hatred, negativity, narrowness, selfishness and greed, then you are on the opposite side. What you face and owe you face it is in your hands. Kind Regards! Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.156 As human beings, according to our inborn qualities, we are complete beings. But we are dependent on two external influences; nature and society. From one major point of view, we depend complete upon nature. Water, sunlight, oxygen, food, all parts of the life-support system is supplied by nature. We cannot afford to disassociate ourselves from these natural resources. Living in a society means living with constant challenges. This perturbs people and they become individualists. But this kind of individualism is little more than escapism. Differences could be a boon, for if everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much. So difference means diversity just like different trees enhance the beauty of a garden. We cannot afford to live in a cocoon. For the larva living in a cocoon, it is a life before an impending transformation but for us human beings, it is no less than death. Social living means living through experiences, meeting challenges, learning lessons, teaching and learning. Society is like a living university. One who tries to go against society will commit social suicide. No one can afford to opt for either natural suicide. No one can afford to opt for either natural suicide or social suicide. Therefore, complaint is a futile exercise. Adjustment to achieve mutual benefit is the only possible formula. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.157 As human beings, according to our inborn qualities, we are complete beings. But we are dependent on two external influences; nature and society. From one major point of view, we depend complete upon nature. Water, sunlight, oxygen, food, all parts of the life-support system is supplied by nature. We cannot afford to disassociate ourselves from these natural resources. Living in a society means living with constant challenges. This perturbs people and they become individualists. But this kind of individualism is little more than escapism. Differences could be a boon, for if everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much. So difference means diversity just like different trees enhance the beauty of a garden. We cannot afford to live in a cocoon. For the larva living in a cocoon, it is a life before an impending transformation but for us human beings, it is no less than death. Social living means living through experiences, meeting challenges, learning lessons, teaching and learning. Society is like a living university. One who tries to go against society will commit social suicide. No one can afford to opt for either natural suicide. No one can afford to opt for either natural suicide or social suicide. Therefore, complaint is a futile exercise. Adjustment to achieve mutual benefit is the only possible formula. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.155 One of the favorit sports of India`s middle classes is bureaucracy bashing. It is an easy game to play and can be quite a lot of fun. Everyone has their favorite, outrageous story about an encounter with the bureaucracy. The inefficiency, corruption, insensitivity, stupidity and Kafkaesque circularity of bureaucratic procedures and rules are legendary. That India`s bureaucracy is one the most stifling and difficult to deal with has now been revealed in a survey. Over a thousand expatriate business executive rated India`s bureaucracy the most annoying in Asia. The problem with India is no, as we in the middle class imagine, that we have too many idle and corrupt bureaucrats. The problem is that we have too many rules and regulations and too few officials to implement and monitor the regimes, and bring to book those who flout the rules and regulations. As India`s population grows, the disequilibrium is only going to grow: more rules and regulations to be applied to more and more people by a bureaucracy that is not high enough. A conclusion: either we expand the bureaucracy or else the government will gradually wither away to the point that India will join the ranks of failed states. That would be a calamity for the Indian people. Best wishes! Sunder Thadani

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Sundedrblogger.154 Change Attitude, Not Lifestyle In life, everyone is denied a few things. But all of us have been blessed with millions of gifts. If you focus on what you do not have, you will be unhappy, if you choose to focus on the things you have, you are grateful and you develop an irresistible share, contribute, and give. This makes you happy. The most precious things come for free, which you do not even consider! Hence, you live life feeling deprived and deficient when, in fact, you could be totally fulfilled and abundant. Do you have conflict with the people you love most? Do you blame the 1other person for it? May be it has to do with your attitude. Do you have expectations of you family members? Do you make demands on your spouse and children? This is not love. It is attachment. Love tainted with selfishness is attachment. You only love yourself. You claim to love because they happen to cater to you in some way. This causes conflict and untold suffering. In the end you support them. Attachment is the single most important cause for breakdown in relationships. So change you attitude, not lifestyle. Your life will change from drudgery to revelry. From mediocrity to Excellence. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.152 I have a very simple definition of integrity: I saw a romantic greeting card which showed a couple kissing in the front seat of a car. The message said, ‘If you can kiss while driving safely, you are not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.’ Anything that is worth doing is worth doing with a whole heart, mind and body. We get into the trouble not because we do things that are wrong, but because we approach our activities with divided intentions. Our body is doing one thing while our heart is elsewhere. We go to jobs wet rather not be at, we sleep with people we don’t love, we go to parties we secretly find boring or repulsive. At the same time we love people we don’t express our love for, we deny ourselves food we would really enjoy, and we know truths we do not act on. You are doing on the outside matches who you are on the inside. I respect people who do things I don’t agree with, or wouldn’t do myself, but I respect them for being 100 percent who they are. They are in integrity. Regards, Sunder.thadani

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Sunderblogger.153 Indians, by and large, have an aversion to anything dark. Whether it`s sugar, flour or skin complexion, dark is out and white is in, the whiter the better. The exception to this color is coded scheme of things is money. Indians or, at least some Indians have a distinct preference for so-called “black” money over” white” money. Best Wishes Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.151 it is well said, “Politics is to be left only to politicians”. India has been like a house owned by a householder who leaves the day-to-day running of the house –keeping the place clean, buy provisions for the kitchen, maintaining a daily account – to the servants. Left unregulated-except for a check on their activities every five years-the servants inevitably come to feel that the house belongs to them and not to the householder. As times goes by they become increasingly lazy and corrupt with no money to pay for the upkeep. The householder blames the servants for having cheated and defrauded her. She concludes that all servants are cheats who are not to be trusted. But the householder forgets that it was only because she abdicated her own responsibility for adequately supervising the servants that they could behave the way they did, bringing the house to the sorry state it is in. The Indian public is like that over-trustful householder who has let her house be run, with virtually no monitoring, by politicians who, feeling that there is no one to hold them to account for their actions, have done exactly as they pleased, holding to ransom the house that call India. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.150 Is there such a creature as an Indian? There may be, but I have not found it. An Indian pure and simple is rare as a griffin or an Assyrian bull. How should it be otherwise? The Indian is not a person, but a patchwork. Indeed, he reminds me of Ibsen`s famous one layer, then another, then another, and finally, nothing. I am the peeling of the various layers that causes much trouble. Each layer tells its own tale and, what is unbelievable, is not part of an organic whole. The result is that the so-called Indian is the most contradictory of persons. He is perpetually at war with himself. Not knowing himself, he is unable to understand others. Our metaphysics, wonderful as they are, have tried to solve this confusion, but in vain. Our multilayered soul remains hidden and unfathomable. But why are we what we are? Aryanism, of which we have become particularly proud since independence, is, if we examine matters without partipris, integumentary. The essence lies elsewhere. The Indian spirit is basically pre-Aryan. The Dravidian element in it is predominant, (as we see t0-day,) but the total influences go further back. We have heard the phrase “Mother India”; India is much more than that; she is the Granny of Nations. Her soul (there is, I repeat, no “it” about it) is steeped in the leadings and misleading of many civilizations. best wishes, Sunder Thadani.

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Sunderblogger.149 Anna Hazare, the man who bought Gandhigiri back in vogue, has stirred up quite a revolution. From the aam admi to students, the Bollywood starts to the media- everybody is agreeing that they might not agree with everything Hazare might have to say, but boy will they defend his right to say it! 74 year-old has carried out a rather tech-savvy campaign predominantly through social networking websites and sms. But shortly before his highly controversial arrest, the man-of the-hour posted a pre-recorded message on YouTube, where he said “The second freedom struggle has started…This is a fight for change. The protests should not stop. The time has come for no jail in the country to have a free space” Best Wishes for Anna Hazare Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.148 10 Quick Strategies to Help Manage Your Anger When someone cuts you off on the freeway, do you give in to your rage? Do you burst out in anger when your child misbehaves? Anger is a very natural emotion. However, learning to deal with your anger in a positive manner is important, both for your well-being and that of others who are near and dear to you. When you cannot control your temper, you and everyone around you suffer the consequences. If you struggle with anger management, the good news is: it doesn't have to be this way! You don't have to fall victim to an uncontrollable temper. There are anger management techniques that will help you change the way you express this emotion. These strategies can help you manage your anger in positive ways: 1. Give yourself a time out. Counting to ten before you speak or act gives you a chance to think first. Take a deep breath or two while you count to ten; this action helps relax your tense muscles and sends a burst of oxygen to your brain for clarity of thought. Removing yourself altogether from the situation gives you more time to calm down and further reduces the risk of an angry outburst. You can return once you're able to discuss the issue peacefully. 2. Take some personal space. When the very presence of a specific person makes your blood boil, stay away from them until your frustration dies down. Use the opportunity away from them to work through your feelings and seek a positive solution to your challenge with them. 3. After you're calm, express yourself. It's healthy to express your feelings, even feelings of anger, as long as you do it in a peaceful, positive, and non-confrontational way. Discussing your feelings with the person who upsets you often helps both of you understand each other better so you can work out your issues. Stewing about what is bothering you can make the whole situation worse. 4. Exercise. Strenuous physical activity is an incredible way to release your anger, especially if you feel you're at the breaking point. Exercising also releases endorphins, the "feel good" hormones, which will help you feel more at peace. A۬ Lifting weights, running, and playing sports are great ways to blow off some steam. 5. Think it through before you tackle the issue. When you're angry, you're more likely to say something hurtful that you don't really mean. Write down what you want to say so you can work through the issue at hand; when your temper is flaring, it's easy to get sidetracked. 6. Find a win-win solution. Instead of focusing on what someone did to make you angry, work with him or her to resolve the issue. Finding a solution that you both agree on will allow you to feel satisfied. 7. Use personal statements when discussing the issue. Avoid criticizing or placing blame. Use statements like, "It makes me feel angry and upset when you don't help me with the housework," instead of "You never help me," which could make that person angry or resentful in return. 8. Avoid holding a grudge. Maintaining resentment toward someone only hurts you. Let it go, put it in the past, and move forward with your life. It's unreasonable to expect everyone to act the way you want them to. Rather than letting someone continue to irritate you with their mannerisms, find a way to accept or look past them. 9. Use humor. Lighten up the situation by saying or doing something genuinely funny. Once you both have a good laugh, it's easier to find a resolution together. When being humorous, avoid sarcasm as it can hurt and make things worse. 10. Practice relaxation techniques. Skills like deep breathing and picturing a relaxing scene can help defuse your temper when you feel it start to boil. Listening to music and practicing Yoga are also great stress relievers. If you feel that your anger is still out of control after using these strategies, you may benefit from some extra help, such as: Reading further books on anger management. Seeing a licensed therapist or counselor. Attending anger management classes or support groups where others discuss ways to cope with their anger. No matter how severe your anger may be, these tips and techniques can help you control your temper, rather than letting it control you. Free yourself from anger and find greater joy in your life today!

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Sunderblogger.147 Change election rules to keep criminals out of politics. With corruption rolling the Parliament and public life, the present ruling government can send a message about the seriousness of its intent to cleanse politics by swiftly passing into law proposed amendment to the Representation of the Peoples Act, 1951. With the objective of debarring criminals from entering politics, the amendments would disqualify any candidate with serious criminal charges-terrorism, murder, sexual assault, kidnapping etc.-from contesting elections. The law can be further improved by adding big-ticket corruption to the list of serious crimes. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.146 every profession has its occupational hazards. Sportsmen who make their living room rackets tend to develop tennis elbows. Those who mop and sweep one apartment after the other are prone to housemaid`s knee. Garbage collectors are not used to looking up while astronomers lose focus on anything below sky-level. And newspaper journalists keep getting asked when they are going to write books even though much of what they scribble has shelf life of 24 hours. Kind Regards! Sunder T

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Sunderblogger.145 An aware mind is one that knows that a problem or issue exists but does nothing about it. It is easy to be lazy. Laziness requires no efforts. To be active requires effort. Let us take a look at mind control. Tempestuous thoughts arise daily in an agitated mind. There could be virtuous thoughts but they might get buried, when the mind is stressed. Even if these were to manifest outwardly, by their sheer nature they would bring benefit to us or those around us. However, we need to be extra cautious of the arising of non-virtuous ones. Best Wishes! sunder.thadani

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Sunderblogger.144 we are never without an identity. In the system in which we are living, there are set patterns of life. Due to our ignorance we create frames. A framed life is never happy, never satisfied because we really belong to the frameless source. If our life belongs to the frameless source, how can you define it in a frame? Can you capture the whole of the ocean in a cup? Our ideal identity is no identity-to become zero, to live with a zero identity. We worship those who have attained this state. Either acquire a zero identity or become everything. Never identify yourself with one thing at all. Either identity with nothing or identity with everything never be in-between. That is the faith you should have in yourself. First has faith in yourself, with whatever identity you are living, had full faith in that. If you have no faith in yourself, faith in the Divine alone will not work. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani.

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Sunderblogger.143 we are never without an identity. In the system we are living there are set patterns of life. Doctor, master genius, this, that …. You are choosing your identity, so good, choose any identity, have full faith in that. If you feel like you are an artist then be an artist then be an artist, never doubt your identity. Ninety percent of people have identity but no faith in their identity, and they confuse themselves and have a miserable life. We should have courage to break the system and discover a new identity in which we have faith. Then you can create better possibilities for life. Everything is in your hands; you have to decide what you want. First of all understand your life, value it and then make your life useful, purposeful. If the definition of your life is limited your life will always be limited, if your definition of life is vaster, without boundaries or frames then you can live without limit. Every day, write you definition of life and in a few days that will give you a complete picture of you, you can check your frame-or whether your picture is frameless. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.142 Knowledge comes from the past. It has to be translated currently into action. Thoughts and ideas must be transformed into deeds. Your motto in life should be to strive, to struggle, not to succeed. Work well accomplished, is the joy of life. Success or failure is immaterial. What really matters is your ability to adopt action to obligation. Your business lies in action alone, not in the reward accruing from it. Don’t let your anxiety to enjoy the fruit disturb the course of your action. Work without attachment and craving in worship. That is the principle of renunciation. Why do you need motives for work? Work itself is most rewarding, entertaining and blissful. Employ this simple principle of work in practical life. The wide world becomes one divine chant. When you thus begin to work in a spirit of renunciation, the world returns your courtesy. Wealth and prosperity are at your door. The world will go on. Nevertheless, you must perform you your work. You ought to take to work as a prince takes to sport-not as drudgery or burden. Your life is one big game, full of fun and frolic. The most laborious undertaking pursued in the right spirit is found to be all play; intense work undertaken thus is no work at all. That should be your attitude to work. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani