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Sunderblogger.095 Manners make the middle class in any country. Catching up with the west begins with good manners; not cars, stereos or even blue jeans. It is simply a matter of putting the horse before the cart. Manners are all about how we treat others whom we don`t know personally, and probably never will. As early as 1873, Professor Thomas E Hill wrote a book “Essential Handbook of Victorian Etiquette”. He mentioned: 01. Do not always commence a conversation by an allusion to wealth, 02. Do not call upon a person in reduced circumstances with a display of wealth, dress and equipage. 03. Do no make a parade of being acquainted with distinguished or wealthy people or visiting foreign lands. 04. Never be over-boastful in praise of one`s country best wishes Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.094 Happiness is a state of mind. An emotion. A feeling. A reaction. There`s even a part of our brain where happiness is triggered. When we are happy, that part of brain in `lights up`. There are two types of happiness; temporary or instant happiness and overall long-term happiness. From childhood, we learn that our happiness is dependent on outside forces. We base our feelings on how well we think the world is treating us. We learn that happiness is based on how successful we are; our status in life, how much `stuff` we own, and how good or bad our partnerships, marriage and family is going. This view point is reinforced throughout our lifetime by our parents, school, peer pressure, TV, work and society. As a result, the pressure to perform is often enormous; the pressure to be successful is intense. Add to that the psychological hurts inflicted on us by circumstances and people and it`s no wonder so many people are unhappy or not as happy as they would like to be. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani.

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Sunderblogger.093 I has always been a big question –how to control the mind? It is not so easy to do this. The Sufi way is not to control the mind but to silence its constant chatter and find peace through stillness. This method is called Gibberish medication, which appears to be very strange, but it is the most effective one. The conception of mind is nothing but gibberish. Put it aside and you will have a taste of your own being. Simply allow whatever comes, without bothering whether it meaningful or reasonable. Just throw whatever comes, without bothering whether it s meaningful or reasonable. Now after the cyclone has subsided, you can, experience the absolute silence and witness the body, the mind and anything that is happening. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.092 Face your fears with self-respect. A person whom we call courageous is not one without fear, but one who has learnt to face fear without fear. Fear is the fight between faith, and belief in oneself on one hand, versus the negative idea or expectation you have about your future on the other hand. You are literally fighting with your own positive and negative energies. The fear that you have about your life, be it fear of failure, fear of losing your near and dear ones, fear of losing your wealth, fear of the unknown and every fear can be used as a door to enlightenment. Fearlessness means taking a quantum jump into the consciousness where you will never experience fear of losing anything! Fearlessness doe not mean non-existence of fear. It means fear is there, but you have tremendous energy or courage to live with it and face it. Fearlessness means having the energy or the courage to live even with the maximum fear. It is going beyond that fear and being neither attached to nor detached from the fear. Best Wishes! Sunder T

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Sunderblogger.091 you are thinking negatively when you fear the future, put yourself down, criticize yourself for errors, doubt your abilities, or expect failure. Negative thinking damages confidence, harms performance and paralyses mental skills. If you find it difficult to look at your negative thoughts objectively, imagine that you are your best friend or a respected coach or mentor. Negative thinking has been an early warning system showing where you need to direct your attention. Thought awareness helps you to understand the negative thinking, unpleasant memories and misinterpretation of situation that may interfere with your performance and damage yourself-confidence. Rational thinking is the technique that helps you to challenge these negative thoughts and either learn from them or refute them as incorrect. Positive affirmations that you can use to counter negative thought. These affirmations neutralize negative thought and build self-confidence. It is also used to find the opportunities, almost always present to some degree in a difficult situation. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani.

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Sunderblogger.090 Most people don`t seem to have much balance in their lives. They’re always running artful speed. Fact remains that balance was for birds… It`s not so much about balance as it is about setting priorities. Idea of being passionate about everything one does, in work and in play. The advantage in working hard is that you get good sleep, and are ready to go again the next morning. It is self satisfaction and the success follows. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani.

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Sunderblogger.089 Diversity at the workplace has led to an increase in interaction between colleagues o the opposite sex- so much so, that these days, it just seem to make eminent sense to have a purely platonic girlfriend or boyfriend at the office – a “work spouse,” if you will. Having a work spouse is more than simple jokes and fun, as they are uniquely bonded individuals who can relate and provide emotional support during stressful times. Even tough by pure definition, work-spouse relationships are platonic. It`s the latent possibility for hanky panky that makes relationship experts wary of such associations. It is too easy for any boy-girl kind of relationships to morph into a dangerous affair. Your comments are most welcome. Sunder.thadani

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Sunderblogger.088 Happiness depends on balance. If our external and internal lifestyles are balanced the, assuming we have the potential to get well, all the conditions necessary for healing are in place. How to establish external balance? We should develop a good diet, drink plenty of water, get enough rest and sleep, have regular exercise within our capacity and we need to have an enjoyable or purpose in life or learn to enjoy it. Also it helps to live in a clean and healthy environment. We also need supportive and healthy relationships and should avoid substance abuse… Happiness or fulfillment is just a state of mind – it comes from within so it is impossible to find lasting peace of mind in only the external world. Sometimes illness could be a blessing in disguise because it can help to start us on that inner journey towards wholeness and ultimate healing… Best Wishes!

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Sunderblogger.087 Multidimensional Life Though most of us operate from our periphery, often saying and doing things spontaneously, without thinking or planning, we are all eventually guided by our centre. What s our centre? It is usually that core collection of feelings, beliefs, conditionings, thoughts, biases, prejudices, ideas, perceptions, points of vies and opinions- basically whatever we think we are. This centre is often mind based, not being or soul-based, for those things always operate out of silence and love. The soul or being is our real centre, as opposed to the mind or ego-based. `Pseudo-centre` from where we frequently and unknowingly operate. Very few of us operate from pure love. Invariably, we tend to operate from fear, or its subsidiaries, like hate, greed, envy, avarice, mistrust, anger, competition and frustration. Any truth is relative to the perceptive from which is known. Reality is comprise of innumerable substances, both material and spiritual, and these too are constantly changing and in a state of flux. The well-known story about 6 blind men asked to touch and describe an elephant. All of them came with different answers, calling the elephant a rope, fan, snake or wall. All of us see the world from our limited perspective. Your views, and comments are most welcome on above. Best Wishes sunder.thadni

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Sunderblogger.086 The principles of love, compassion and respect for all life are familiar to the western mind but in recent centuries, we have restricted them to human only. Our birth and existence is dependent on causes outside ourselves, inextricably linking us with the world and denying us any autonomous existence. Indeed when we think deeply enough, the borders between ourselves and the world wash away like water in water. We and all of nature are inseparable, entwined, one. Compassion for others should be as natural and instinctive as compassion for us and our own bodies. We must develop a sense of universal responsibility not only in the geographic sense, but also in respect to the different issues that confront our planet. Responsibility does only lie with the leaders of our countries or with those who have been appointed or elected to do a particular job. It lies with each of us individually. Best Wishes Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogge.084 Liberation can never be an acquisition of the individual. Because liberation is not a person, liberation is from a person. It is often said by sages that the search or efforts to seek liberation will end only when the seeker ends. All attempts made in this direction only further crystallize the identity and discreteness of the seeker. Desire for liberation is an oxymoron, because liberation is absence of all desires. Does it mean that all endeavors like medication, devotion, and prayer are superfluous? It is said that Liberations is merely a blink away. It need no involve any form of penance; it need not involve any form penance, effort or endeavor. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.083 While the body is transitory and has a normal curve of birth, growth, maturity, decay and death and the mind that is encased in the body also goes along the same route, the soul is beyond death and destruction and joins the cosmic pool when it leaves the body. But God who created all living beings on this universe embedded humans with a special characteristic –that of an intelligent capable of knowing his non-being also! We live in the past with our memories, we live in the present with our pains and pleasures and we live in the future with vague guess work Just as the physical body is vulnerable to injury and disease the mind, too, suffers as a result of what we say and do. Medical help is available for bringing the body back to good health. But when the mind suffers an aberration owing to traumatic events the consequences can be tragic for all those who are close to the person so affected and of course, the concerned individual. Treatment for disturbed minds is not so easily accessible. Moreover, seeking psychiatric help is viewed as something only `mad` people do, and so there is a stigma attached. Hence there is need for counseling centers and openness to encourage people to come forward to seek help. This will help reduce the anxiety and stress levels, leading to a better quality of life for individuals and families and by extension, friends, colleagues and society as a whole. The more depressed you get, the more anxiously you seek isolation that only deepens the depression. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.081 Trust is an inner eye. Just as the two outer eyes are for seeing the universe, there is a third eye inside whose name is trust. The eye of trust means the eye of love. If you love someone you will see certain things in the person what no one else will see. That sweetness delicate and the touch of love are needed for it, only then is it revealed. You will hear the echo of a song in that person that no one else will hear. You will hear it one has to come closer that anyone else has come. Only you are that close. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani.

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Sunderblogger.081 Trust is an inner eye. Just as the two outer eyes are for seeing the universe, there is a third eye inside whose name is trust. The eye of trust means the eye of love. If you love someone you will see certain things in the person what no one else will see. That sweetness delicate and the touch of love are needed for it, only then is it revealed. You will hear the echo of a song in that person that no one else will hear. You will hear it one has to come closer that anyone else has come. Only you are that close. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani.

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Sunderblogger.080 Subject: Mind Made Scale Duality divides. Oneness unites. When we think, we divide ourselves. Thought creates a duality or division- by a `mind made scale` for measurement of good or bad, pain and pleasures, more or less; virtue or vice. Thought varies with time, space individual and object. It creates diverse situations and options. Each person often led to “KARMA” by invisible thought force that drops from the Universal Reservoir of Un-known or Universal thought and karma projects I-ness as distinct from Oneness. In domain of bodies and flesh, Karmic debits and credits accrue. This apparently symbolizes God-human relationship as a balance sheet. In affairs of body, mind, soul, Nature, time and space, balance sheet cannot be annualized. Settlement of `Karmic` credit an debits of past lives-that may be good or bad- can be done through retribution [payback] in subsequent life forms or when debit waived. Good thoughts or `Karma`, from spiritual point of view, take consciousness inward and upward. Negative thoughts or bad `Karmas` have tendency to pull mind downward and outward. This is the broad distinction for determining what is `good` or `bad`. Our own good Karmas and medication may create conditions for that Oneness. But `primordial sin` or separation is forgiven, when Divine act of mercy takes place. Call it grace, or by any other name. It is then that `Karmic` debits and credits are wiped out relationship with flesh finishes, duality dies and Oneness attained. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.079 Fear has many names like dread, worry, panic, anxiety, and it manifests itself in varied ways as in avoidance, procrastination, perfectionism, judgment, control, agitation and violence. Fear usually prevents us from living up to our true potential. Whether we are afraid of the dark, of being abandoned, failure, commitment, flying or public speaking, fear can affect nearly every decision we make. Fear is part of the problem, sometimes fear is the problem- but when are really paying attention, fear is usually part of the solution. We easily forget that fear is an essential part of our nature; an alarm system there to get out attention, to push us out of harm`s way. We need to learn to distinguish between unhealthy or neurotic fear that holds us back, and healthy fear that helps us to move on. Unhealthy fear is persistent, exaggerating and even inventing potential dangers; healthy fear stands guard responsibly informing us immediately of real danger. It is only through facing, exploring, accepting and responding to fear that we free ourselves from its paralyzing grip. If befriending or embracing our fear seems too much, then as a first step, one can simply acknowledge it. Best Wishes, Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.077 One of the favorite sports of India`s middle classes is bureaucracy bashing. It is an easy game to play and can be quite a lot of fun. Everyone has their favorite, outrageous story about an encounter with the bureaucracy. The inefficiency, corruption, insensitivity, stupidity and Kafkaesque circularity of bureaucratic procedures and rules are legendary. That India`s bureaucracy is one the most stifling and difficult to deal with has now been revealed in a survey. Over a thousand expatriate business executive rated India`s bureaucracy the most annoying in Asia. The problem with India is no, as we in the middle class imagine, that we have too many idle and corrupt bureaucrats. The problem is that we have too many rules and regulations and too few officials to implement and monitor the regimes, and bring to book those who flout the rules and regulations. As India`s population grows, the disequilibrium is only going to grow: more rules and regulations to be applied to more and more people by a bureaucracy that is not high enough. A conclusion: either we expand the bureaucracy or else the government will gradually wither away to the point that India will join the ranks of failed states. That would be a calamity for the Indian people. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani.

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Sunderblogger.076 Subject: Intellect and Intelligence. We spent lot of time acquiring intelligence at the expenses of developing intellect. Intelligence is built by gaining information, knowledge from external agencies, from schools and universities, teachers and textbooks. The intellect is developed through your individual effort by exercising the faculty of questioning, thinking and reasoning. Not accepting anything that does not admit logic or reason. Know the difference between the two. Not realizing the importance of the intellect in life, people make no attempt to develop their own. Instead, they merely indulge in acquiring intelligence through surface reading of others` periodicals and publications. Education has lost its meaning and purpose. For generation’s human being have turned into intelligence robots and are traversing through life without awareness, much less enquiring into the meaning and purpose of life. The world today is in a state of chaos due to the perversion in human development- all intelligence and no intellect. That explains why even highly educated business-persons, professionals and scholars become alcoholics, are short-tempered and succumb to worry and anxiety. It is the mind that loses its temper. Again, it is the mind that constantly harbors worry of the past and anxiety for the future. When the intellect remains undeveloped and weak, it is unable to control the vagaries of the mind. Thos having developed a powerful intellect, with or without academic distinction, can hold the mind under perfect control and direct action to spell success and peace in life. The educational systems the world over must be held responsible for the debacle of the intellect. Only by maintaining this essential equation can governments be run, business conducted, professions practiced and families live in peace and prosperity. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.075 Should India create a sovereign wealth fund? India has foreign exchange reserves of around $280 billion. The practice at present is to invest these funds in sovereign debt instruments of the world`s strongest economies, reshuffling the portfolio to minimize exchange rate losses. The return on such assets is ridiculously low, and is slated to remain low for some time. The opportunity cost is huge. The catch is the integrity challenge. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani

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Sunderblogger.074 One of the essential problems of our society is that we have a tendency, amid all the craziness that surrounds us, to lose sight of what is truly human in ourselves, and that includes our own individual needs. Those very special, mostly non-material things, that would fulfill us, give meaning to our lives, enlarge us, and enable us to more easily embrace those around us We need to reduce the speed limits of our lives. We need to savour the trip. Leave the cell phone at home every once a while. Try kissing more and less. And top talking so much listen to other people have something to say, too. And when they don`t, that glorious silence that you hear will have more to say to you than you ever imagined. is when you will begin to hear you song. That`s when you best take hold, and you become really you. Best Wishes! Sunder Thadani